Pterodactyl

by ME REX

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1.
From Noah's ark to Ragnarok, from Svalbard to Atlantis,  There has always been part of us that sleeps right through the rampage But I have seen satan hiding behind the moon, I have seen the giant sleeping inside of you Stay up 'til we're bloodshot, just watching TV, waiting for the sky to bite back down on you and me  Parade around, parade around, we are so brave, we are so proud  And if we wake up scared tomorrow we will let this house burn down, down, down We are the wasted kids, the railway bridge above Singing "blessed is the sedative forever in my blood"  It says "Myles the light is where you find it, Myles it makes no fucking difference  I am the only god you've got left now So beg for my forgiveness"   There will be no more wildest dreams, there will be no more secret wishes When you finally see the glory that will be revealed within us I bear offerings in blood and sick in all my sacred nakedness, I will show you famous places on the bodies we're escaping from  I do this thing when I get scared, I clench my teeth, empty my lungs of air I don't blame you, it's not your fault We're just waiting for the lightning bolt  I want burn your silhouette into the ground around my feet And let that savage incandescence carve its own way  I know that you get beat up by ghosts in your sleep  You wake without bruises and climb to your feet  I don't know for you how hard it is, we're proud of you regardless Sink or swim, mess it up or fuck it all and cut and run, cut and run I have these magic spells for my mental health, they only show me brittle bits of truth It's Somehow still a lonely ritual, if you want lick the common wound  Easy to invent (I do this thing) It's easy to forget (when I get scared)  Reasons it's fucked up (I clench my teeth)  Reasons it's perfect (empty my lungs of air)  (I do this thing) You had your heart set (When I get scared) On kicking the doors down (I clench my teeth) How quickly can I get  (Empty my lungs of air) Over to your house I want to embody uncomplicated goodness The kind you only find in gods and strangers  But all our past is part of us,  Even the pieces we're ashamed of  It's hard enough  loving anyone Nobody comes  out totally blameless But all our past is part of us,  Even the pieces we're ashamed of 
2.
The argument starts in my head and spreads out like a mold From the weak spots in the ceiling, down to the base of the wall And this place looks like a film set, a storage unit or a hospital bed But not like anywhere you really lived But it's your old bedroom Where you smoked like a car tyre on a pile of car tyre carcasses on a bonfire And I hyperventilate, hold my breath and fold my arms across my chest Push me down, push me down I like the way your name tastes in my mouth I like the way your name tastes It's hard to start, it's hard to start again Nought's not a positive number It's just the sum of the game First you're just filling the hours and then you're counting the days Every time the record breaks, The recor breaks at the bleeding edge of history, Carving it's own way in to you and me, Building distance in our heads we cannot make manifest in our feet But there is something pressing its teeth deep Into the exposed bare soles We barely feel it thug Like skin; it itches when my body's not clean Mind crawls, intrusive thoughts and violent fantasies And it hurts a lot It hurts a whole lot That's why we laugh about it That's why we don't talk And it hurts a lot It hurts a whole lot That's why we laugh about it That's why we don't talk You're in the front seat, taking a phone call, Tongue in your front teeth, kept in a chokehold Killing the hour I walk to your house The whole way I am cutting new ruts, I am carving new names Are you saving up all the shame on the inside? Going over the same old good time Going over the same old good time Down, push me down I like the way your name tastes in my mouth I like the way your name tastes And it hurts a lot It hurts a whole lot That's why we laugh about it That's why we don't talk We had a plan, this wasn't it I thought we were accomplices We had some time, it all ran out I like the way your name tastes in my mouth And it hurts a lot It hurts a whole lot That's why we laugh about it That's why we don't talk That's why we don't talk
3.
Everyone but my is evil robots And the floor is made of lava And the walls are all closing up Don't call me up because I don't know what I can do to help you, There's no way of leaving this room But oh my god, filled with hatred Eggshell walkers, halo chasers Peace among the promise breakers Sinkholes underneath the pavement We're your family all around you, Proud of everything about you, Feeling locked out, feeling lied to Truth you crossed out crucified you It's like there's a side to you we know and a side to you we don't But shame and terror, fear and hatred Coming down through generations Disintegration, disintegration Are you not graceful? Are you not patient? Are you not grateful now for the way you are? I hate the way they talk about you Smell in the air, some old burned-out truth like a prayer, for when you're scared, Find no comfort anywhere Hold what heavy, hearty fruits the hungry dirt decides to return It seems like all you ever feel now are the holes torn in your future Everyone but you and me is evil robots And the floor is made of lava and the walls are closing in on us And Myles I can see the future screaming through the caterwaul, sometimes I see things getting better, sometimes I don't see you there at all It's like the ending of a past life I still share a skeleton with This might take all of the courage you didn't know you had to give But there are no one-shot redemptions, It's something that happens slowly, My best friend Elizabeth says nowadays it's good to know me Everyone but me is evil robots And the floor is made of lava And the walls are all closing up When it feels like leaning on people always leads you straight to hurt Remember it was you that hung the moon up in my world
4.
Climbing the column of air that's enclosed by the stairwell Up to the place you're living within spitting distance One day we will be just like blood, hit the air and thicken up I will be there when you're lonely I will be there when your nose bleeds what hearty fruits will the dirt hold for you whenever you come home I'll be carbon monoxide I'll stick around till the cell dies I want my head on your shoulder for the whole rest of the drive but I'm scared you'll feel the bloody mind swelling up on the inside So if you fall, fall forwards when was the last time you saw her I'll be your paranoid choir boy, chaos that cradles the order I will be thicker than water, I will be the wave that Remains forever cresting and never graduates It makes you feel like you are back at school there will always Be an older truth conflicting with the new It's easier just to forget, easier just to invent Reasons it was fucked up, reasons it was perfect Do you feel like you burn a hole, into every new place you go? What we thought a seat of feeling, it was just a pump Never a great bull muscle we ever bloodied up much Everything you ever did you did for love Cannot shake the feeling you won't get enough An overreaction or equal and opposing I don't think I know anybody here that knows him Just lowered expectations, the party's never over Choke the atmosphere down, 3 nights in a row here Do you feel like you burn a hole, into every new place you go?

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Recorded and mixed by Luke Yates of Small World Music Services

Artwork by Sofia Nikitaki

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released April 27, 2018

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ME REX London, UK

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