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Sacred Cancer

from Plesiosaur by ME REX

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lyrics

Grief it never came to me in a straight line
The days go disordered, all come at once or never arrive
I inhale the hot, gorgeous august dust
Morning flower fumes, clouds of car exhaust
Breathing out the dissembled December nights

I first heard the fear in your voice on the phone
I want these things to align but they don’t
The closeness in the costume of your clothes

Anchored to a place now that’s stuck in time
Bounce the hallowed walls of the freezer aisle
Sit with meat in bombed out cathedrals all night

I can feel cold calm sea water
All of that exhausted anger
All the rage and expectation
All you stupid, sacred cancer yeah

Punch the nothingness, acts of punctuation
A punctured and fast deflating thing
Breathing out until we are all empty skin

I’m an obsolete war machine, I’m extremely glad to be here
I’m glad but the fantasy, it just wasn’t deep enough still

I’ve just got this one big emotion I drag behind me now everywhere I go
Slip between days, they fall away from me
See the future but cannot change a thing

5am somewhere, you remember me
Morning, it’s the first of the century
Nothing gets to drift frictionless through the world

I still feel cold calm sea water
All of that exhausted anger
All the rage and expectation
All you stupid, sacred cancer yeah

Worlds constricting as if strangled
All things twist and split and fracture
Things all seem to fall apart while
History’s assembled backwards

Turns out I am a frightened animal
I will run now until my heart explodes
I wait for a song frozen in my throat
I wait for some kind of great lightning bolt
That makes me want to tear down all the pieces of heaven
That I can grab in my shaking fist
From the darkest part of a star-starved sky

I have seen the band of unwavering light
I have watched the garden descend into wilds
I am no longer raging and terrified
I no longer feel like I am just a child

credits

from Plesiosaur, released June 17, 2022
All music by ME REX, recorded by Rich Mandell.

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